This post has been moved from the comments on I am really angry because it a) is really long, and b) raises points not directly related to the original post. We changed the formatting to create a block quote, added relevant links, and corrected some typos, but none of the content has been modified. Love, the Admins
I don’t think people are angry that posters were put up; I think people are angered that they were put up in an offensive and possibly sexist way. They overwhelmingly are in a woman’s tone of voice, and indict the hookup culture on campus (and as an extension, most men on campus) in a way that simply cannot be overlooked. No one is victim blaming or supporting the people who defaced the posters; I believe that we are trying to support wholesome efforts to make people feel better. There is a hostile element to this campaign, as previous posters pointed out, and we have a legitimate right to air our grievances. We’re working towards a compromise, and I am very happy that SOAR appears to be listening to our reservations. This goes back to a post [admin note: This was originally a comment on Confused?] I had earlier which I will repost, because no one has responded and I want to know what people think.
… there are certain cases when one party can and should be held accountable, whereas there are many other times when it was just confusion on one side. To group them into one category diminishes the effect of both.
Although I know it’s often hard to do, let us consider the side of the accused in this matter. There are certain times when if you tell someone they have committed rape, they know it. There are also many times when if you tell someone they have committed rape, they will probably collapse, be shocked, or somewhere between the two. It is important to distinguish the two categories because explicit and unbending language leaves no room for healing on the part of the either side.
While it is often scarring, what about those people who want to confront the accused? I know they exist. What if they want to hear the person honestly say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I cried because of what you said. I never wanted to hurt you.” The fact of the matter is, I have seen such vitriolic rhetoric here I am scared. People who commit violent, explicit rapes are monsters. Confused teenagers are not.
As a student of Haverford, I don’t want to live in a community where healing is impossible because someone can be considered a monster for a mistake they made. I want to live in a community where people can stand up and honestly say “I’m sorry! I never wanted to hurt anybody! I am not a monster! I want to help you!” I want to live in a community which encourages dialogue and understanding of all root causes. And this kind of partisan demonization is not going to help anyone. To equate violent rapists and people who wanted to commit no crime is a moral failing [admin note: fallacy in original].
I think someone said that 90% of rapes fall into the latter category. I’d say at Haverford it’s closer to 99%. The fact of the matter is, we’re saddened that the some of the posters are about indictment and pointing fingers, and none mentioning actually helping people, the cause we’re all working towards.